

One of the first things Christian does after he meets Anastasia – having slobbered all over her in the interview scene – is order a background check to find out everything about her. It’s not easy to make men’s bits sound sexy, but this phrase makes it sound as if he has worms. And where Anastasia famously bites her lip every two lines to signal arousal, Christian continually “shifts in his seat”. Anastasia is, he says, “one of the few women I’ve met who can sit in silence, which is great”.

He wonders if she likes her men the way she likes her tea: black and weak. Whenever Ana leaves the room, even just for two minutes, Christian assumes she’s making out with another man. Instead of lighthearted and repetitive mild S&M, the “love affair” is now the twisted work of an utter psychopath.
